Saturday, June 25, 2005

The perfidy of wishes

this is an audio post - click to play

Labels: ,

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Opposing view on PBS issue

this is an audio post - click to play

A conservative blogger friend ranted about the liberal programming on PBS.
Here is my response.

Labels: ,

Monday, June 20, 2005

In my mind (audio poem)

this is an audio post - click to play

Labels: , , ,

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Bath Night

The moment one gives close attention to anything,
even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome,
indescribably magnificent world in itself.
--Henry Miller

I took my Wednesday night bath tonight, filling the tub with water so hot my skin turned red. I performed my ablution rituals, my mind clear of all thought, my hedonist self enjoying the scent of the water and the feel of oil on my skin. Perhaps I stayed in too long. Perhaps the water was too warm. When I rose from the tub I was overheated and dizzy, so I slipped into my robe and stepped out onto the patio.

And now, in this moment, it is raining. It is a soft summer rain, a bit heavier than a mist, but still fine. The air is so cool, so clean, so sweet, so pure, that when I inhale it something in me swoons from the headiness of it. The sky is gray, but it is more than gray, it is layer upon layer of shades of gray. The golf course glistens, the bamboo shivers, and mist beings swirl by. I am in a land between worlds, in that inexplicable meditative no-place that all who have experienced it recognize but cannot find words for. It is nuanced and numinous, the root of shadow, of light and dark. I am in this moment, I am in this place where all things are and are not yet, where shadows have substance and that substance is sheer as mist. The soil is rich. I can smell it, the new soil I added to the flowerbed. The astilbe are open, their feathery fronds dancing and dodging in the misty rain. I reach out to touch the fairy-shape of a fushia bloom and am transfixed by its colour, so intense in this grey-green moment. The birds are singing. I do not remember hearing them earlier, before the rain began. And with the thought of 'before' my awareness of the moment changes, and time reasserts itself. My mind, once cleared of thoughts, now resurrects from memory a dozen things for me to ponder. But I remember the long-awaited book that arrived in the mail yesterday, Jared Diamond's Collapse. I think I'll read that, instead of thinking. My evening at home has begun.

Labels: ,

Friday, June 10, 2005

Libidinous Celibacy

Presently I am a committed practitioner of libidinous celibacy. At first the juxtaposition of those two words would appear to be paradoxical, but I know that such is not the case. Most people think that the adjective libidinous describes someone who is acting lustfully or lewdly, but in fact, it is not limited to actions. A libidinous person may be someone who has lustful thoughts or is otherwise preoccupied with the drives of the libido...without necessarily acting upon them. Few adults can abstain from sexual intercourse (ie, be celibate) and not experience rising frustration at the sublimation of such a primitive and instinctual biological drive. As time passes, this biological drive manifests as a psychological one as well, and the mind becomes preoccupied with libidinous thoughts. Thus, the term libidinous celibacy is not an oxymoron, but an apothegm.

Its good for me to be single for a change, good for me to take all that energy tied up in exercising my libido and use it more productively elsewhere. Not that I'm not getting off. No, indeed. I'm masturbating now more than ever, and loving it.

Labels: , , ,

Saturday, June 04, 2005


This is where I will do my audioblog postings.