Certainty Is....

Certainty is an illusion. So is control.

Life happens, and it just so happens that life is taking me where I was certain I would never go again: home.

In leaving my life in Portland, I leave behind partners who have sat at the banquet of sensuality with me. Some see this as an ending. Some see this as a hiatus. Some see this as a reason to work harder to keep in touch. Some see this as a source of regret. Some see this as a reason to cling. Some see this as an opportunity -- my partner in California, for one. I am looking forward to seeing him more frequently, and to sharing more of myself and my life with him. I'm uncertain about what will happen next, and I am ok with that. If there is one thing I have learned this year, it is that there is nothing I cannot handle with a little help from my loved ones. I can choose for myself a specific destination in life, and I while I have control over myself and the work I do to achieve my goals, I am achingly aware that I have no control over the curves life throws at me, or over others. Life is uncertain, control is an illusion, and I -- I am adaptable. Besides, its not the destination that matters (which, ultimately, is the certainty of death) -- its what I get up to along the way.