Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Luxury of Time

So last weekend was a long weekend spent at the Oregon Coast. A friend was celebrating her 40th birthday and rented this gorgeous villa overlooking a huge stretch of beach. I somehow lucked out in that I arrived before her family-contingent left and the friends-contingent joined us, so not only got to meet her family, but I got her mostly to myself for part of an evening and a day. She's a wonderful woman and I'm sad that I'm moving away just when I was looking forward to getting to know her well.

We talked about polyamory, and how she was doing in a relationship of hers. I made some recommendations based on experience and observation, mostly based on communicating clearly about her wants and needs, and giving her partner(s) the opportunity to decide for themselves what it is that they can and cannot do. From there, it is a lot easier to work out a future that has minimal angst.

The next morning was spent curled up on a loveseat looking at the ocean, reading, and chatting, and trying to recover from a sniffly cold. Early in the afternoon we went on a quest for live crab -- and found them! We brought 5 back and I boiled them up. Yum! By the time we got back with the crab, pretty much everyone was there -- a dozen of us, all interesting people connected to her in a variety of ways.

One of the guests is an excellent chef, and he created a salad to die for. We sat around and ate and drank copious amounts of wine and champagne. Then we soaked in the hot tub. Then we danced. Then the warm oil and the massage table came out. Then we rubbed. Yes... it was a delicious weekend in many ways.

Sunday I went back to Portland for a snuggle party I was facilitating. I'd say that 30 people showed up, and so many of them came to wish me well in my move down to California, that my heart was full of love and sadness. I was on the verge of tears for much of the night, and that is ok. I had the luxury of spending time snuggled up with a couple dozen people, and there is not much in life that beats that.

Life goes forward. My heart beats out the seconds between now and the end of my days, whenever that is. I nearly died this year--I know what a luxury the concept of 'spending time' is. There is no better time to do what I want than now. Right Now. Because tomorrow will come, but it may not come for me. Living for tomorrow is not a thing I can do anymore. Life is meant to be lived fully and powerfully, each and every moment.

God I love my life!

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Anonymous sacredtouch said...

Silken, the end of your life in Oregon sounds like a dream. It's quite remarkable what can happen when endings are nigh. Living for tomorrow is not a thing I can do anymore. Life is meant to be lived fully and powerfully, each and every moment. I second this.

- SacredTouch

11:41 PM, November 16, 2008  

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