Thursday, January 07, 2010

Feeling fortunate

There are certain qualities I like in my men. Sitting in the same space with My Beloved and My Lover, it was quite obvious. Physically they are very different. M is dark of eyes and hair, while D is fair. M is slender and smooth-skinned. D is nearly 6" taller and hairy. But they both have those hands. The hands of an artist or a surgeon: graceful, long-fingered, expressive. They are both introverts, though D makes the effort to be outgoing. Low-key and yet intense. They are both deliberate speakers. Thoughtful, they choose their words carefully. They are both highly intelligent, and comfortable with it -- geeks in the sense of being techno-fetishists. They have the systematizing, mathematical, analytical minds. Delightful senses of humor, with a penchant for puns and other word-play. They have a British influence to their upbringing and their tastes in food. Neither cares much for alcohol or vegetables. They are playful, love to learn and travel, enjoy being touched to the point that they purr, and are very aural. They know how to Be Present in the moment. They have alpha male qualities but don't flaunt them. And they are keenly sensitive. I won't go into the sensitivities because they are not mine to share, but like me they experience the world very keenly, to the point of debility at times. The other men with whom I've been intimate over the years have many, if not all, of these same qualities.

I enjoyed that the two of them seemed comfortable with each other. For most people it would seem counter-intuitive -- a recipe for disaster -- putting the man who was, for all intents and purposes, my common-law ex-husband in the same room with my current lover, a man who expressed an interest in me while D and I were still together a decade ago. But they are kindred spirits, the kind of people who know each other upon first meeting on a level far deeper than the ass-sniffing and territory-marking behavior one expects of most men in that situation.

M is in the midst of a life-changing project and his mind churns problem-sets in the background most of the time, something I accept for now because I understand the potential pay-offs, even as I miss the attentiveness, the focus, to which I have become accustomed these past few years. D seemed to understand what that M's distance wasn't disinterest. He gets where M is -- we've had other friends make it big in Silicon Valley and we both know the effort it takes to bootstrap a company to the point of attaining those life-changing rewards.

M is secure in who he is and how I feel about him, and so he does not worry about D the way most men would. He is not concerned about the time I spend with D -- there are no worries about loss or relationship-changing developments, and when he misses me, he lets me know when he wants time with me -- just as I do with him. Which reminds me, once again, about how much I love the way we communicate.

I'm a lucky woman. And I've got great taste in men :)

Want more Silkenvoice?
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Silkenvoice: AudioSensual Erotic Shorts, Vol. 1

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