My Lord Is My Shepherd

HELP!

I texted him

I'M ALL WET.

Five minutes later my phone rang.

"1 900 Hot Babe," I answered.

"You need a plumber?" His voice, doing an impersonation that sounded like Mario the Mafioso.

"A plumber?"

"Yeah, you need some caulking for that leak?"

I laughed. Caulking indeed.

"As a matter of fact, I could use some cocking."

"A hot babe like you? Can't find someone else to cock her, has to call for a plumber?"

"Its an emergency!"

"They all are, lady."

"There is wetness everywhere. Please how soon can you get here?" The desperation in my voice wasn't feigned.

"Well..." he rolled the word around in his mouth. "If I skip my lunch hour, I could be there in 15 minutes."

"Make it 10," I said. "And I'll feed you lunch, too."

"Oh?"

"Yes, pie. Shepherd's pie."