Sunday, March 30, 2008

Silken and Me

As Silkenvoice, I do not pretend to be the perfect dream woman. Nor do I want to be, either in fantasy or reality. I am asked quite often "what do you look like" and my answer is usually either a variation of "average-looking" or "whatever you want me to look like", depending on how playful I am feeling. I am evasive because it is important to keep some distance between my online Silkenvoice persona and The Real Me(TM).

As Silkenvoice, I try to create a safe space in people's minds, a place for them to go and experience their sexuality positively. I write most of my stories in first-person feminine perspective, and I put a lot of myself into the narrator (narratrix?), so people usually think She is Me. And so I get this feedback on my stories "God you're perfect, I want you, I want to meet you." Now, while I know I am perfect, whole, and complete just as I am, the perfection of which they speak is my uninhibited sexual self-expression. Yes, I will try anything twice. Yes, I love to do all the naughty things I narrate. But the reality is that The Real Me is far more complex than Silkenvoice, and few people can handle the reality of me being perfectly me. Believe me on this.

I try to avoid getting ego-involved with my Silkenvoice persona. I don't want to fall into that trap of thinking that I am really as irresistible as my readers and listeners think. I assure you, I am as flawed a human as you are: I bleed once a month. I can be moody. I have a strong sex drive. I can kiss for hours. My mind is insatiable. I discriminate in favour of intelligence. I sometimes snore. I like being in control. I am a hard-nose about keepng promises. I dislike watching TV. I give procrastinators a hard time. I am incurably optimistic. I can be clumsy. I am touchy-feely. I am unstoppable. I am multi-talented and people find that intimidating. Silken, however, Silken is less complex.

Silken loves sex anywhere anytime. She seduces and is seduced by her lovers. She has inhibitions in all the right places. And because she is fictional, everything goes smoothly for her, and when it doesn't, she takes it in stride. Silken is fictional, a fantasy woman created to show that smart, self-confident, complex women are sexy, too; that a woman can submit sexually and not find it degrading; that a man can submit to a woman and not be less of a man; that sex in all its variety is not only healthy, but a doorway into intimacy and connection. Oh and fun. Yes, loads of fun.

So I draw a line between Silken and Me, and I keep it as best I can, for my protection. To protect me from stalkers, and from myself. It is tempting, all the adulation, but I am determined to keep it from going to my head (and cunt). So thank you for your interest in Silkenvoice, and please, feel free to ask questions. I just ask that you respect my choice not to answer some questions as clearly as you would like.


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Blogger kujmous said...

Both of me miss both of you, dear friend.

3:44 PM, April 08, 2008  

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